MOnday BloOdy MOndaY

Hi.. well due to some disease my computer has and lack of being able to sit on the laptop because of some grabby chatty toddler, I haven't posted. But I had to check my other blog so here I am. Nothing is really new here except for some disheartening snow. Man .. puts a damper on things. I often do this thing when my phone rings and I can't get to it and rings more than once I think man, someone needs to get a hold of me... and I sort of panic. Or if the calls are late at night. So what I do is procrastinate seeing who was calling just in case it is some bad news, at least I can have a few more minutes to finish what I am doing.. just in case.. before I see who it is or call back. This morning I had both munchkins in the bath and the phone rang twice right after each other and then I got a text... so that is what sparked this mentioning. It wasn't anything except Lex is sick which I don't mean to disregard. Anyway... I got Beckett to giggle once this morning. Twice, but only one giggle. He is so dang sweet it kills me. I decided Piper is my cutest thing in the world and Beckett is my sweetest thing. He has the sweetest personality, super cuddly and smiley and soon, giggly. I know everyone says this about babies but he is from my experience.
So I am planning some things to plant and wanted some advice, what have some of you had luck planting? I am talking and the edible front, vegetables and herbs. So if you have any advice at all it would be appreciated.
Anyway.. our weekend gathering was fun. Sam and Amber's baby is the cutest one ever. Hopefully we can do it again next weekend too with The Radicals too (although we have a Jazz game Friday.) Anyway there is my pretty pointless post.

Just Go

I am just going to keep posting...

Things that must go far far away for today:
-Post Partum Depression
-School
-Being out of Diet Coke in the fridge.. think that justifies 911???
-Snow on the ground??
-Bunnytown on Disney Channel, who puts these dumb a shows on air?
-4 bodies in a queen sized bed, no matter how small two of them are. And having two bodies between me and Jake. Or one for that matter.
-Getting no sleep because of previous thing that must go.
- The virus in my PC.
-The high cost of having hobbies. It's a lot cheaper to be boring.

For me it truly takes a village to raise my kids. I need help. I'll admit it proudly. All you out there that live out state away from your family my hat is off to you. I say this because I went swimming with the two babies yesterday (Piper still cries like a baby so she gets that label) and there is no way I could have done it without my cousins and sister. I am so grateful for our parents and family that are my village. My cousins are the sisters I never had. I don't think they get on here at all but I don't think they know what they mean to me and how much I value them.

So yeah, lesson learned yesterday at swimming pool: Don't go alone or Piper will drowned because she has little girl swim balls, she is not afraid of water.
Second lesson: After such a big outing one must take a day off to regroup because it was a lot of work. The summer with two children is going to be ...... hard work and interesting. But I will get out of my house...I hope.

I am proud and happy to bask in my imperfections. I get so sick of the compare and compete lifestyle we live in. If we aren't competing with "things" we are comparing our children or parenting skills. I mean let's just face it.. you are better than me, you do it better than me, you have better stuff than me. Ok can we get over it now?

I say this because I think our society and relationships have so many hidden comparisons and competitions. I am guilty of this too for sure. It's so hard NOT to buy into it because it's the consensus among everyone like a contagious disease that spreads from one snide comment onto another or from one bragging mouth to another. I mean who freaking cares? Are you happy? Then who cares how big or clean or nice your house is. Who cares what car someone drives or what trips they are going on. We could all have all the same things and just be in more and more debt. The things you don't see behind the big house or the fancy cars are the debt or lack of money for anything else. So why covet and bad mouth something you can't see the truth to anyway? You never know what is behind that smiling face and fancy this or that. So for me, I am just going to worry about myself and what makes ME happy. Be who I am. Buy what I like, do what's best for my family. If it means something someone else questions how I got it or why or how I am going to pay for that, then let that fall on their shoulders not mine. I am going to parent my kids the way that works for me. I am sorry if you don't agree or if you think you do it better. I don't care how you parent and I am not going to judge you I have more important things to do.

Disclosure: This is pointed at me. Not at anyone else. I am addressing my own thoughts and faults and imperfections. So don't get your panties in a twist.

My THING That Must Go Today

When you make comments on other people's blogs and you have do that stupid word verification. Hello I barely have time and patience to comment on blogs let alone mess up some word retype and have to do it again and again cause I am too impatient to pay attention to what I am doing.

He Smiles

As you can see Beck was ecstatic about being outside for the first time lounging on the grass. Then there is Piper on Easter not sure if it's ok that she spilt dirt on her.. Oh crap what is mom going to say??? But anyways there is the longly anticipated and bittersweet smile of baby documented.

It's All Well And Good...

So I am all about the daddy's little girl thing, but I just have to vent. I for sure want Piper to be a daddy's little girl which she whole heartedly is especially since Beck came, however COMMA.... it's not so fun ALL THE TIME. Lately it's all the time. She goes down for a nap, and wants her daddy, I give her a bath, brush her teeth, put her in time out, get her up for the day, and all she does is want her daddy. Makes it kind of hard to see the rewards in all that when daddy is such the hero. Hopefully the vendetta comes when Beck is of that age.

So on my first spiritual note here.. I had an overwhelming thought. A couple of people dear to my heart are going through trials. I talk to them and see and hear the pain in their lives, see it in their eyes and I turn and leave them and literally put my hand over my chest to try to numb the pain I feel for them. I have been constantly thinking of them and letting myself ache for them. I wish I could magically say the right thing and give perfect advice to put an end to their discontentment. So it got me thinking.. Oh AH HA that is what Christ must feel for each of us. And it was a nice thing to feel. A very comforting thing for me at this time in my life. Knowing he wishes he could take away my pain just as much as I wish I could take theirs from them. Even if it meant putting it on me instead. Someone knows your heart and the pain that you feel even if no one else listens or gets it.

Dont Mess With Us

Buddies, and possibly/hopefully spouses? Not the two boys, Avery and Beckett. The little girl is Avery, Alexis' baby and then Cohen, Kim's baby. I got them all matching shirts when they were fetuses now here they all are.

Monsters In My House

In lue of the fabulous book I am reading ever so slowly as to savor every last concept it has on it's pages and in hopes of retaining some of it and not having flow out of my brain the second it hits the bookshelf for storing, is this post.

It's about be honest. I feel like my life is a whirl wind of some honesty and some dishonesty. Not lies in general but ideas about what my life entails. I mean how honest are we really with ourselves about the situation we are in. I am have been trying since Beckett was born to take it all in stride and to look at only the positive and wonderful parts of having children. And trust me-it is. It is nothing like I thought it would be it's a hundred times better and easier. But still at the same time that creepy monster that lurks under your bed after the blessed event of a newborn won't leave your doorstep! After all is said and done and you carried the baby against all odds, you survived the pregnancy, the delivery, the first weeks.. the adjustment and then that evil monster creeps up in your heater vents. You run the fan as so you can maybe blow him around and not let his dust settle on you furniture but he inevitably lands again and you have to deal with his presence. That dirty little invisible monster we call post partum depression. He won't leave my stinking house. He comes up the vents I shoo him away with a trip to the mall, he comes up the drain, I kick his butt with an outing with my friends, it seems no matter what ways I try to keep him back with whatever restraining order he finds his way in through some mouse hole or crack. Now that is a mouse that Lucy can't seem to catch and Sparta can't seem to bark away. I mean if I ask other's if they see the monster they will just think I am crazy and roll their eyes, "Oh boy, here we go." The world and everyone one in it swirls around and around oblivious to the real truth I am battling. I can't sit for fear he will find a place on my lap so I clean, I blog, I read, I bath, I talk and talk and talk and talk... just don't mention his presence because-I mean-does it really matter won't my selfish needs just foster resentment amongst others or whispers as I turn my back? Is it really considered a real thing? We ignore the things we don't understand. And we only see the things we want to. And we purposely don't look the scary monsters that are in our lives in the eye for fear of the truths they are.

Anyways I think my inner personal cheerleader just took a little vacation, maybe she went on a trip to California to compete in Nationals....

An Excerpt

I look at the Augusteum, and think that perhaps my life has not actually been so chaotic, after all. It is merely this world that is chaotic, bringing changes to us all that nobody could have anticipated. The Augusteum warns me not to get attached to any obsolete ideas about who I am, what I represent, whom I belong to, or what function I may once have intended to serve. Yesterday I might have been a glorious monument to somebody, true enough - but tomorrow I could be a fireworks depository. Even in the Eternal City, says the silent Augusteum, one must alway be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation. -Elizabeth Gilbert


This is an excerpt from a book I am reading. I just love it. She is talking about the Augusteum monument in Rome which has been there for centuries and has served many purposes, from a temple to a public restroom. As I see myself in the past and now the present and look forward to the future, I love how she puts this. It brings me much condolence and peace and to some extent hope. Wherever we are in our lives it is just one moment. Whether we like who we are or not it is just who we are now, we won't always be this person or in this place in our lives. It will inevitably change. Whether we are a stay at home mother, a husband, an ironwoman, a wife, a student, a biker, a runner, a best friend, or a salesman chances are we won't always be any of those things. We may find ourselves none of the things which we are now and in a completely different place in the world with completely different people. That is the beauty of life, we maybe would have never pictured ourselves where we are now and hopefully in the future, or hopefully not, we will find ourselves in a place we would have never guessed ourselves to be.

DRUM ROLE PLEASE........

THIS, ladies and gentleman, is the newest addition to our family. Oh how I have longed for his companionship. I never knew what my life was missing until I experienced his power and the effect he can have. His cutting edge sleek style and his powerful work is nothing but short changed. Moment of silence please for my Dyson. I promise that I shall try my best to live up to his expectations since he has far surpassed mine.

These are our pets. I figured they may be more appreciate then kids over and over and over again.

Sparta is the dog.
Lucy is the cat.
They are best friends.
I love and hate them .. depends on the day. Just ask Jake.

I am headed to Beckett's two month appointment today. We are celebrating it by taking him to Disney's Princesses on Ice. Ok not really... we are going for my niece Emalee's birthday. But I am sure Beckett will be memorizing their every triple lux and taking mental notes on what bows they wear with what tierras. We are truly celebrating it by going to Sawadee and getting yellow curry. Ok not really we are just going for fun. But in my heart of hearts I am celebrating it with yellow curry and Thai food, but then again I would celebrating me showering for the day if it meant some Thai food.

I went to lunch with my two friends that I have known since we were Minutemen. It was very fun and they have adorable kids. I was laughing at Kambri as I thought of her all day and I was telling Alexis about them and their kisses and hand holding and personal space issues and just laughing for the rest of the day. Then what a treat to see Kim at Old Navy.. I mean where ELSE would us housewives go in the middle of the day?? Seriously. It was a good day I ended it with my most down to earth friend at a movie.. the movie was pretty ridiculous, Definately Maybe. I may post my thoughts on that later.

I am almost ready to introduce something that is going to be a very special part of my life. I haven't quite got a feel for it yet so I can't give him (or her) a proper introduction. I haven't even discovered it's gender yet, that is how unfamiliar we are, but soon we will be dancing across the living room and sweeping each other off our feet on the hardwood. So once I can give the new addition to our family a proper introduction you will have to wait. And hopefully the suspense won't kill you.

Thought

If you want something so bad you have to lower your character to get, once you get it, will it be worth it?

-Guess it depends on what kind of person you are.

Areas Of Business

Couple of things.
-I would first like to welcome Amber here. (She makes great babies BTW)
-Scott and Trish are having a boy and I am thrilled, although I know they don't visit here cause they are too busy.
-Kara-thanks for the alfredo sauce.. bet you never thought anyone would actually try it, but if I went through the trouble to post a recipe on my blog that would mean I really thought it was good, so I made it and it was really good! It got an A+ in my recipe rating record. I will see you in 1.5 hours.
-I realized I better ShOut oUt to Mindy for being pregnant!
-Thanks to Joni and Shar for the girl date yesterday it was great.. and a ShOut oUt to Joni it was birthday last week and I didn't even know. Some friend.

ShOut OUt

Thought I'd give a shout out to Lindsay (Dee) Rose, it's her birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDSAY.

I was thinking how we are all imperfect people. But if we are all so imperfect and trying to resolve this or work on it and become less imperfect and our best selves, then why is it we can not take any sort of criticism that suggests we are imperfect?

We are all so touchy when someone even suggests something less than perfection. When in truth if we actually are trying to become our best selves and trying to become better whatevers then you would think if someone had something that would help you reach that you would welcome it because in truth they are doing you a favor. However we just take anything people suggest (or even don't suggest) if it regards our insecurities and get all offended when really the person was doing a favor whether intentional or not. Seems to me if we know our insecurities we should look them in the eye and have a stand off. Not coward away from them and make excuses. Oh.. my favorite excuse is: That is just who I am. It may be who you are but it's a character flaw shouldn't you try to not be that way? I think when we are striving to not improve ourselves is when we should really feel insecure.

The picture reflects our perfect selves. I think Piper is the sweetest and often evilest person in the world. Her age is so innocent and she is so sweet and simple. One of my weaknesses is my patience with her. I just want so much to treat her like she deserves to be treated without ever any snapping or frustration. I don't know if this is possible, but once Jake told me when I was pregnant that it isn't Piper's fault that I am pregnant so if I am not feeling well don't take it out on her. I was only offended by this comment because it was true. It struck my insecurities and I chose to give it a good stand off. (And am still trying consistently). . When I am stressed about something or the baby is crying I remind myself it isn't her fault for any of it so don't even remotely take it out on her. So that.. is where this thought began, just so not to be confused.

Spring Fever Or Something

At my in law's this weekend I think we all had some spring fever.Daylight savings hit and we took it outdoors. The kids played outdoors and shoveled the dirt. I never knew that a patch of dirt and a shovel could entertain a toddler for so long, good thing all my yard is is dirt so I guess I am good to go. Never mind those people who spend fortunes on swing sets and what not just get your kids some dirt! So anyway I am anxious as everyone for warm weather. Piper will be a good age to enjoy and explore everything. Beckett.. mmm not so much but he sure will be able to poop and puke on everything.. or me because he is pretty good at that. Those are Piper's cousins Gage and Emalee. You might say Emalee is Piper's idol. And you might say Piper is Gage's nemesis. But Piper loves her cousins, that is for sure. My in law's are the best in case you have missed that memo in previous posts and conversations.

ShOut OUt

Just had to give a shout out to my friend Talane. She is a friend from Utah State and I love her. She lives in Houston now while her husband tries to get in dental school and I hate it. I wish she lived back here again. I love her I can't say it enough. I had to opportunity to see her today for about an hour and it was such a treat. I love you!

For Ashley

A- Attatched or Single? Married, whichever that is.
B- Best Friends? Oh hell there is no way I can name them all. They know who they are. I probably talked their heads off today or vented a little :)
C- Cake or Pie? Cheesecake
D- Day of Choice? Any day but Sunday nights and Monday. Gotta hate Monday working or not.
E- Essential Items? Diapers, Wipes, (very essential to our sanitation), Bumble & Bumble, blowdryer, Eucerin, eye cream, vacuum, condoms, Mr. Blanky (don't ask questions.),
F-Favorite Color? Fushia.. ok not really
G- Gummy Bears or Worms? FROGS totally. Love the gummy frogs. So does Jake!
H- Hometown? O-Town with pride. The ghetto Terrace to be exact.
I- Indulgence(s)? MAC, Bumble & Bumble, Philosophy products, Krispy Kreme's.
J- January or July? Neither, too hot and too cold.
K- Kids? 4 -2 kids, 1 dog and 1 cat.. I feed a lot of mouths.
L- Life is incomplete without? Mr. Blankey and Diet Coke. Oh and Jake and Piper and Beckett....phone calls everyday from Kris and Lex.
M- Marriage Date? Dec 11
N- Number of Siblings? 1 brother and 1 dad.. I mean 2 brothers.
O- Oranges or Apples? chocolate
P- Phobias or Fears? Taking the first bottle in the row. Not resetting my odometer after fueling up. Spiders and centipedes and mice. And my clothes smelling like my dog since she sleeps in my room that is really my closet.
Q- Quotes? Sometimes the hardest things and the right things are the same.
R- Reasons to Smile? I am kind of funny looking and I keep procreating.
S- Season? Summer nights.
T- Tag Three Friends:
U- Unknown Facts about Me:
V- Very Favorite Store: Urban Outfitters and Sephora
W- Worst Habit? Diet Coke, oh wait I can't admit that that is bad. So NOT Diet Coke.
X- X-ray or Ultrasound? Not ultrasound that would mean I was pregnant so x-ray.
Y- Your Favorite Food? This week, yellow curry, eh Linds?
Z- Zodiac: Sagitarious or Scorpio since I am borderline. I read both, if I read.

Interesting

http://www.progressiveu.org/160000-got-milk-if-you-do-youve-also-got-greatly-increased-risks-of-cancer-osteoporosis-and-heart-disease

This article talks about milk and all the reason why we apparently shouldn't be drinking milk and eating much dairy. This doesn't really surprise me. I don't drink milk, I usually do soy if I do anything at all, and I don't eat much meat because basically I don't like it, I don't like the way it all sits with me either. So interesting. Read it. I think it is fascinating that the dairy association or whatever it is tells us all this crap and can because they have so much money. It's funny how the people with the money tell us what to do with our lives and for lack of better knowledge we take it as scripture as they would say. So anyway. I started Piper on soy and then put her on milk and she doesn't drink milk now because I don't really push it. And I believe I will not ever put Beckett on milk now. Anyway apply it or not there is some info you won't see on the Got Milk campaign.

Guess they haven't changed much since last picture post. Oh well, it is something to blog that doesn't make me think.

My thought for yesterday was how unfair it is that some of the most important people to me live out of state. Seems sort of ironic doesn't it. People come into your life at the time you need them and are in that part of your life at that time for a reason.. then they move on and you move on. I don't like that. I resolve to make a bigger effort to keep in touch with the people that are out of state that are so important to me.

For Today

I was thinking today that if girls spent half as much time and attention fussing about their intelligence and knowledge as they did about the way they looked they'd have a lot more interesting things to say. If I spend half the time I did getting ready for the day (which I must say has cut in half with each child) and put that toward reading a book or learning something new I would have a lot more fascination about me. HOWEVER. You don't ever leave a girl and say, "Man she said the smartest thing." You do however say, "Man, she looked good, she has lost weight." And you don't see guys gawking over the girl that said something smart, just the girl with the hot whatever in the flashy clothes. Therefore it seems more beneficial to girls to put most of their attention into their looks, their body, and their clothes because that is what gets rewarded the most. In general men don't come home and go man that was a smart thing you said, and take you into the bedroom. They do say those jeans make your butt look great......

Thought Of The Day

Ok I am almost in panic mode, I bleached my teeth the last two nights and they are so sensitive this morning I cab barely drink anything. For those of you who know my infatuation with Diet Coke you can see why this poses as a problem. But apparently Beck think it's hilarious because he will not stop smiling at me. All I have to do is look at him, he is like neener neener neener!
I decided I am going to give a thought of the day. Mostly because everyday I have an "ah ha" moment, as Oprah would put it, where something clicks that someone said or I thought of. So here is my thought for today, actually this is yesterday's.
So anyway recent conversations have got me thinking about the obsessiveness some of us have about being different or people stealing our ideas. I think that is so ironic I am so guilty of it I am sure. But the ironic part of it is most of the ideas we get we get from some one else. So isn't it fun we get snuffy when someone does something we did first but really most of the time we just saw someone else doing it. So I think from now we shouldn't worry and try so much to be "different" and just try to be more of ourselves. Whoever that is it's probably more different than trying to be different since that is what everyone else is trying to be. I think there is enough of "that type" out there. So I want to just focus on being who I am, doing what I like, stating how I feel and not worrying about if it's different from the next person or not. Because most of the time when we just be confident and be who we are at our core than it's pretty freaking awesome and unique. And that is when we are most happy. It's when we are trying to fit a picture that our society creates that we begin to feel unhappy and inadequate.

James Dean

As Jake puts it, he just needs a cigarette in his hand. This is my nephew Eli.. he is going to knock em dead.

Dating For Married People

I decided that going out with other couples is the married form of dating. It's like you are dating the other couple. Trying them on for size. Accessing the good with the bad. It's like trying to find the perfect match of two girl friends and two guys friends. Everything from how easy it was to set up to whether they got babysitter so whether they could speak of anything other than their kids or overall just let you get a word in edge wise. And even still, you find that perfect couple to go out with and they live an hour away, or in another state. I mean geez, why does it have to be so hard and so much like dating? You leave and each of you say to your partner, "Did you have fun, what did you think?" So then you analyze it in your head and if you did have fun with them you panic and think, did they have fun with us? What if we were lame? All the woes of dating all over again. Why can't we just find the perfect persons? The ones that match all the criteria on our lists that we made of all the things we want in potential married friends.

Well I guess until we find them, if we haven't already there are always "pseudo friends." That is what our friends refer to the friends that you hang out with cause we have no one else, or everyone else lives too far away or can't hang out.

I May Be In The Doghouse After This......

Well I haven't been husband tagged or whatever, but sorry to say I don't think I'd fill it out anyway.. too time consuming :) and slightly not my style. So I thought I'd tell you all a little about Jake because I assume the majority of you don't know him very well or have never even met him, especially those of you out of staters. So I'll tell you a little bit about him (hope he doesn't mind.) I'd post a picture but wouldn't you know we are so lame we only take pictures of our kids and so the most recent one I have is pretty outdated. I would symbolically post the Cruiser, however, it and I are in a fight and so it can't be on my blog at this present time.

He is 5'something, a hundred and something pounds, an Aquarious, brown hair, green eyes. We met through Sammy, my friend at Utah State, they went to high school together. We ran into each other at a concert in Salt Lake and I guess as they say the rest is history. Jakes likes to snowboard, mountain bike, put dents in his Landcruiser.. I MEAN go 4 wheeling in his Landcruiser. He likes snorkels on his cars (who doesn't). He has just re picked up mountain biking racing and triathalons, he is a really good swimmer, he is building a road bike so he can add that to his biking addiction. He likes to camp, hike, do anything outdoors including climb insanely high mountains like Mt. Rainier. Even though I think he just climbed it cause he liked the name and wanted to name his first son after it. He is really good at bringing me flowers, Symphony bars, and Diet Coke with or without request (his most important talent if you ask me.) He is obnoxiously funny and I say obnoxious because it's usually accurately making fun of me and I pretend that it bugs me. He is a magnificent cook, his newest creations include Pad Thai and fresh spring rolls with peanuts sauce. He contributes some pretty awesomely long eye lashes to our offspring, and hopefully some non pasty skin unlike my own. He is a very present dad and has managed to make Piper quite the daddy's little girl. He appreciates good music and can listen to the Rx Bandits more than is healthy I believe, we used to attend the spiratic concert before late night baby sitting was a problem. He is really good about putting up with me and all my high maintenance quirks like expensive makeup, jeans addiction, cleaning OCD, twelve hour get ready time, overly scented self and house, incessant talking and ranting, almost oddly close relationship with my brother and the overall confusion that is me. I think he is pretty freaking awesome which says a lot when you have married as long as we have ( 3 or 4 years I can never keep it strait.) He is probably one of the most all around intelligent people, he knows a little or a lot about everything and if he doesn't he figures it out. Oh, and I can't forget what a great housekeeper he is and how many dishes he washes and the outstanding amount of laundry he does. Ok, wait.. that would just make him too good to be true :)