How Do I Love Thee...

I cannot express how much I love this band. Thank you to Kate and Scott for the introduction.

How do I love thee?? Let me count the ways.

1) I love you for bringing my love for music back alive.
2) I love you because you make me feel alive and make me feel like TONI, who sometimes gets lost in all the diapers and snot. When I listen to you I sink beyond the surface where I belong. Where I thrive.
3) I love you for your lyrics and the meanings I interpret. Whether right or wrong.
4) I love you for "No One's Gonna Love You" because it's reminds me, because all the diapers and money and responsibilities of life mute it, how I feel about my hot pants.
5) I love you for proving that there are still new bands and new reasons for trying new music and not sticking to the old, no offense Adam Duritz, no one will take your place EVER.

http://www.myspace.com/bandofhorses

I speak because I know my needs,
I speak with hesitation because I know not yours,
My words come from my life's experiences
Your understanding comes from yours.
Because of this, what I say,
And what you hear, may not be the same.
So if you will listen carefully,
Not only with your ears,
But with your eye and with your heart,
Maybe somehow we can communicate.
-Author Unknown

Beck Isn't Quite As Exciting

Well who can be as exciting and entertaining as Piper? Don't worry I am thoroughly enjoying this sweet time when he sleeps for the most part of the day. How I wish for some sleep like that. So peaceful and uninterrupted. Also included is his first bath which he took with Piper. She helped me wash his belly and rinse him off. Having two kinds is so surreal and sweet. I wondered how I could love anything as much as Piper and now I know. I was worried about a little boy, but now I am just focusing my attention on making him a little mama's boy! I love him, he is so sweet and cute... except when he goes to the bathroom and it shoots two feet away or knocks him in the face. Luckily I have avoided my own face thus far.

Piper Is Feeling Much Better

There she is.. Miss Diva Piper. Obviously as you can tell she is feeling herself again (eye roll). That was today and yesterday and her two PRINCESS outfits she had to wear today. She plays dress up all day. But apparently the dresses along with her diaper weren't welcome for her nap. Yesterday she was a fairy princess eating cupcakes. So as you can see she is feeling like her diva self again.

Good News And Bad News

Well I will start with the bad news first so I end on a good note.

BAD NEWS: Piper has RSV!

GOOD NEWS: We are still alive. Barely.

After a late night hospital visit following a quick onset of a fever and Piper who was sick with more than a runny nose, we discover she has the beginnings of RSV. Awesome. Good thing we have a newborn in the house. And good thing we haven't been out in public for weeks. But there is good news, she at least has pretty painted pink nails and some sparkle makeup on. So she is a PRETTY ball of contagious germs. And I have a new best friend which is good news, because we can't have enough best friends. His name is Lysol and he has truly been a good support this morning. I don't know what I would do without the peace of mind he brings.

So bummer, as if I wasn't bored and going stir crazy as it is.. now we have a horrific disease that last 7-21 days and most certainly can not have visitors. Again, let's say it, AWESOME.
So if any of you have any ideas on how NOT to let it affect my one week old I am so open for any experience or information you can offer.

Why?

Why?? Why does she have to be sick now.That's sick Piper. She is oozing. Sick toddler and newborn baby=interesting day. Luckily we had some visitors that made the day really good. What would we do without mom's and best friends? Probably not have very many babies that is for sure! Seriously if I lived out of state...well let's just say I could never live away. I really truly have respect for those of you who live out of state. You are brave and strong in a way I could never be. I am so grateful for our parents and how much they do for us. I would never survive without my mommy.

To Get You Through Your Day

Here are some photos to get you through your day.




That's Piper's "vagabond" dress up outfit. And basically it's a miracle Beckett is even awake for any of these photos because he pretty much refuses to be awake unless I have homework to do and then he is wired.

I am sort of wishing today that I could leave the house. I really want to go get some blank cd's for all the new music my music mentor gave us last night. So thanks for that :) I am really looking forward to a few weeks from now when I can go to the gym at night, even though I want time to stand still while Beck is still this small and sweet. Not that he ever won't be, right? But I am totally craving a good workout and a good sweat and some muscles that are sore from something other than baby or pregnant related reasons. But overall the hardest thing about having two kids so far is trying to do my homework and not being able to leave the house for whatever I want, and being limited to the foods in my house. So I guess it could be worse!

Some Rambling

I was thinking about the reasons I stay at home today due to an assignment that I was doing that asked me to evaluate my current family situation and the reasons we are the way we are. I was thinking about all the ways it's better for my children and in all those things and reasons I realized that there wasn't much in it for me, besides being a good mom and that actually made me happy. I was thinking about how a lot of people do things because it makes them happy and thought if we all just did what made us happy we'd be pretty screwed up. Which I suppose is a lot of the reason that our society is so screwed up, because you think "happy" at any one moment is of the highest value. When really it's about responsibility and commitment and unselfishness. If I did what made me "happy" today I would have spent some of our money for bills on say.. clothes or shoes.. and bought them online instead of paying the bills. "Happiness" has nothing to do with right or wrong and we shouldn't base our decisions on what makes us happy at a given moment, we should look at the big picture of our goals, our sacrifice to our spouses and family and the wanted respect we desire from the people in our lives.
Do I stay at home with my children because it makes me "happy" all the time? No. Does a fireman jump into a burning building because it makes him "happy"? No, he jumps in there because he is doing something of great importance that makes a difference and that is why I stay at home, because I want to make a difference. And I will teach my children that life isn't about taking your daily happiness temperature everyday and doing whatever keeps it up and makes you happy.

Here We Go...

Well it's my first day alone with two kids. I was kind of panicked when Piper went to bed last night (photo on the couch) with a fever and not feeling good, however she woke up in high spirits so crisis averted. I am super sad for Jake to go back to work and lose all the help I had, but real life had to start some time. Wish me luck!

For My First Post....

Well, how else would I start this thing??? With my sweet little Beck of course. Here he is yesterday. I love his guts, he is the best. Having a new baby is my favorite thing in the world. Having a toddler is too though. They are both so fun and I am so glad to start this new time of my life, even if it is weird that I have two children. But so far, having two is a lot easier than I though, OH WAIT.. Piper hasn't been home until today. Crap. Ok well, hopefully that last statement still stands at the end of next week. :)