On A Personal Note

I feel like I need to document this day is some way. Selfishly, I guess because the change I am going through isn't comparable to the ones she is going through. Alexis is in the car driving to her new home in Washington. Twelve hours away.

When she called me the first time, in tears, and told me the news I thought, is this really happening? I have felt like this the whole time, even through all our lasts, the play dates, dinners, and surprise parties. But even more so I feel like it today. As she is in a car, with her little kids. Is this really happening?

It probably sounds pretty dumb, to be so sad about it, I mean, she will be back. We will still talk on the phone all the time. I have scheduled to see her every month for the next few months. But still, it feels different. I have other best friends that are still here, but I feel like she needs me like I need her. I like to be needed. I like to be vented to. I like for friends to say things that they, well, probably shouldn't have. No filters, no judgement, no boundaries. It feels different to have this person who has been a constant to me for so long be far away.

But on a positive note, as I told my lover boy last night, I think things like this are good. Feelings need to be vocalized. Love needs to be expressed. In going through change we grow closer because we realize what we have. We write letters, we vocalize it, and we cry. We sob. We see how lucky we are to have the relationships we have. In facing the possibility of losing our bonds we don't take them for granted. I am not only talking about this particular friend but our group of friends. I worry about us as a whole as our organizer leaves, our "glue" of sorts. As I look through our photos of gatherings in the last weeks I feel the same love for each of my sweet friends, a sort of appreciation of what we have that I feel more so because it's threatened by change. Hopefully in spite of this threat our friendships will thrive and we will band together.







And it should be noted, Julie was not present because she had her little baby Jane last week.